Losing a Loved One

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I haven’t blogged in a while…since the end of May. It’s been a very difficult few weeks for us. Our beloved Pops passed away of cancer at the beginning of June. Pops was our babysitter, Nana’s husband. He was a great man who loved our kiddos as though they were his own grandchildren. Nana started watching Will and Harper as soon as they were born, and we’ve always referred to her and her husband as Nana and Pops, our kiddos’ third set of grandparents. Here are some of my favorite pictures of Pops at Harper’s second birthday party. He was too sick to come to Harper’s third birthday party and Will’s fifth birthday party this year.

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This is how I remember Pops…always playing and interacting with Harper and Will (and his grandchildren, as well as other kiddos who were close to the family).

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You can’t really see in this picture below, but Harper and Will are playing tea party with Pops (at her 2nd birthday party). The hardest part has been explaining to the kids what happened to Pops. I reached out to my friend and co-worker (a school counselor) for help and resources. She provided me with numerous books, information about grief and kids as well as a memory book for the kids to complete. Thanks, Ashley:) Reading the books seemed to help Will and Harper understand (as much as they can since they are so young) why Pops is no longer with us and is in Heaven.

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We’re taking things a day at a time and are spending lots of time visiting Nana. Since I’m off for the summer, my kiddos aren’t at her house each day, so we’re making sure we visit her a few times a week.

Any suggestions you have for helping kids go through the grieving process would be beneficial. This is the first time that Harper and Will have experienced a loss in our family.

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I’m struggling because I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to Pops. His health rapidly declined the last few weeks of May and we had one of our other babysitter’s come to our house to watch the kiddos. The day he passed away, as I was driving to work, the song, “Holy Spirit” by Francesca Battistelli came on the radio. I broke down and just prayed out loud and talked to Pops. Later that day at work, I received a call saying that he had passed away. I left work and as I turned on the radio, Francesca Battistelli’s song, “Holy Sprit,” was playing. Now every time I hear the song, it reminds me of Pops and I usually end up crying, thinking of all the wonderful times and memories that my kiddos and I have of him. As I’m typing this post, I’m bawling. Cancer is such an awful disease. He was so young.

While Pops and Nana were at Duke for five weeks this past winter receiving treatments, I sent Nana and Pops a text and a picture of the kiddos and their daily events each day. I didn’t miss a day.  I’ve been going back through the tons of pictures I have taken and am going to create a photo book of Pops and the kiddos. At this point, the pain is still too hard for me to get started on it. I hope to have it finished by the end of the summer though. I want to make a copy for both Harper and Will, for our neighbor and her children (Pops’s grandchildren) and for Nana and her parents.

I hope to get back to blogging soon…it’s summer and I’m trying to do lots of fun activities with the kiddos. However, things just don’t seem the same.

 

4 Comments

  1. I am so sorry to read of your loss! I cannot even imagine how you all are feeling right now. He sounded like such a special person. Prayers to you and your family!

  2. so sorry for you loss…He seemed to really be a special part of your life…
    this pass april we lost my brother in law who was only 39 to a heart attack, he leaves behind three small children. My sister is pretty devastated….about two weeks after his funeral we went to visit his grave site with the small kids ( I have 3 yrs old twins) and we released some red ( his favorite colour) balloons to the sky to join him in heaven…after we went to eat at his favorite restaurant…it helped as a way for my nieces and nephew to say goodbye to their daddy….my girls now when they see a red ballon ask if we can send it to uncle T
    my prayers are with you and your family during this hard time

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